I'm so close to giving up...?

I think part of this is upset, turmoil from your past that you haven't yet resolved. Sounds like you were abandoned and that could have so much to do with how you're feeling now. if you've just recently started taking the zoloft it will take some time for chemical changes to take affect. but you might also want to follow up the meds with some counseling. sometimes talking to someone who doesn't know, is totally unbias really helps.