(AMC fans) Is Erika crazy.....?

Erika is all BooHoo on the not concentrating on Her career because she is so busy trying to put her family back together. Doesn't she know that we are all responsible for how We deal with our lives? How could she stand in front of Ryan or anyone and act like a saint, which we all know she's not! She sure makes it seem so difficult to just go one with her life. In addition, I've wondered how she could listen to Ryan when he told her that Zach shot her son, and not try to defend the reasons. It just seemed to me that she already felt that Zach shot him for the Heart transfer. If she didn't she would have defended the shooter. We all know Erika. So I wonder if she ever felt a connection with Josh, or is she just plain Loco??